Muneeb's POV

She ran inside after Rumaan left while we all followed her. As she went to her room and was about to close the door, I placed my hand to stop it.

“Hana…”

“Muneeb, please leave me alone.” She didn’t let me get a chance to say anything.

“Hanu!” Bhabi (sister-in-law) came running.

“Aapi (elder sister), please go! Leave me alone!” she yelled, holding her head.

“No, I’m not going anywhere,” bhabi said and was about to go inside when I held her hand.

“Bhabi… please, let me talk to her,” I implored, and bhabi hesitated at first but nodded nonetheless.

“Okay… I think she needs a friend right now,” bhabi said, and I nodded. As she went away, I entered Hana’s room.

By now, she was sitting on the bed hugging her knees, hiding her face.

I went to her and sat in front of her.

“Princess… are you okay?” I asked, putting my hand on her knees.

“I don’t want this. Why doesn’t he leave me alone? He already took everything. Now what does he want?” she mumbled, still hiding her face.

“He ruined you. And you’re afraid of him,” I said, and she lifted her face to look at me.

“He gave you pain… and you’re afraid of him like you did something wrong,” I said, looking into her eyes, and she broke into a small, sad smile.

“You think I’m afraid of him? No, Muneeb! I’m not afraid of him. I’m afraid of my stupid heart.” She paused, got out of the bed, and walked toward the window. I followed her. Her back was facing me.

“I’m afraid of myself. You know how much he broke me? No, you can’t even imagine. I thought my love for him would never hurt me. I thought he was mine. I thought if I gave this marriage my everything, then he would be mine forever. He would love me in return. But you know what he did to me in return…” She paused and turned to look at me.

“He destroyed me! And not only one time he hurt me—no! He hurt me every time! And me, being blind by love, took every pain he gave me, and whenever he said sorry, I gave him another chance,” she said, her eyes shedding long-suppressed tears. She came closer to me.

“I’m not afraid of him. I’m afraid of myself… if he says sorry and gives his fake concern, then I will forgive him again. And give him another chance to hurt me. And I don’t want to hurt anymore,” she continued, her last words whispered, followed by tears.

“You still love him?” I asked, feeling hurt inside. How could she love him after everything he did?

“I hate him! I hate him from the bottom of my heart! But you know what, Muneeb? I hate myself even more! Because I know deep down in my heart I will love him again if he says sorry. That’s why I can’t face him! I don’t want to forgive him! I’m not that strong,” she cried and fell to the ground, clutching her head.

“Muneeb, I’m not that strong. I don’t think I will be able to endure this pain any longer… I want to stop this pain. I want to die,” she whispered, and her last words shook me to the core.

“Hanu…” I sat in front of her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

“I want to die,” she said again, and I placed her head on my chest while she cried hysterically.

“If you want to die, then you have to kill another life first,” I said after some time, and she looked up at me in shock.

“I don’t want to kill anyone,” she said, shaking her head.

“But if you kill yourself, then your baby will die with you,” I said, looking at her, and her eyes grew wide like she realized this just now. She pushed me away.

“So… come on! Let’s kill your baby first. I will help you,” I said, and she slapped me.

“How dare you? You want to kill my baby?” Hana yelled, standing up, covering her stomach with both hands like she was protecting her baby.

“No! It’s you! You want to take an innocent, small life. You want to die! Hana, Rumaan just refused to accept this baby, but you want to kill your baby!” I yelled, standing up, and she looked at me in horror.

“What an unlucky child this is. What parents he got! Parents who don’t want him or her to come into this world. Who don’t love him or her. Who think of him or her as a sin. Who just want to get rid of it,” I said, shaking my head in disappointment.

“No! My baby is not a sin! It’s my halal (lawful) baby! I love my baby! I want to give birth to my baby! It’s my baby! Mine! I will never hurt my baby!” she shouted, crying, clutching her tummy. I went closer and said softly,

“Then be strong… your baby needs you, princess! Your baby wants its mother to be a strong woman. Who knows how to fight. Do you want your child to go through the pain you’re going through?” I asked, and she instantly shook her head.

“Then you will have to teach your child how to fight. You will have to teach your child how to be strong and never depend on anyone. But before all of this, you have to learn how to fight and how to be strong yourself,” I tried to make her understand, and she kept listening silently.

“And remember one thing—if you kill yourself, then you will prove Rumaan right. That it’s not your and his halal child but haram (illegitimate), and that’s why you killed yourself because you were guilty,” I said and walked out of her room. I knew now she would never do anything wrong because she loved her baby the way she once loved Rumaan. That’s why no one could break her love for Rumaan—not even Rumaan himself after everything he did. Her love broke the moment Rumaan tried to prove her halal child haram by saying it was not his.

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Rumaan’s POV

I came home at night around 10 p.m., feeling hurt and dejected. Mama was waiting for me in the living room. When she saw me, she came to me and asked what happened there. I told her that no one—even Hana—wanted to come back here.

“Give her some time. Don’t force anything on her now. You already hurt her enough. Just wait until Hana is strong enough to face you again,” Mama said, and I could feel from her voice that she was really angry at me.

“Hm… is Baba okay?” I asked, and she hummed in return and walked to her room.

“I hurt everyone,” I mumbled, feeling pain, and walked to my room.

My heart ached thinking about Hana’s behavior. She looked so broken. Her eyes, which once held unconditional love for me, now held some kind of fear.

Fear of being close to me.

My eyes burned and I sat on the bed. That look—I couldn’t take it. I was so used to her love-filled eyes that her broken, fearful eyes made me want to kill myself. It all happened because of me. I hid my face in my palms, sitting there silently.

After some time, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I removed my hands and looked up to see Ariba standing there with a smile. And everything that happened started flashing in my mind—and most importantly, the kiss that made me feel disgusted.

How could I kiss her! That too in front of my Hanu! I thought, disgust consuming me. I wanted to take all of that back.

Her tear-filled eyes and lifeless body came to my mind, and tears welled in my eyes. I looked away from Ariba.

“What happened, baby?” she asked and sat beside me, making me cringe at her words.

I looked at her in disbelief. How could she talk to me like this? But then that cheap girl pressed her body into me and ran her hand from my neck to my first shirt button seductively.

“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled, pushing her away from me and standing up, making a safe distance. I had never felt this much disgust by someone’s touch before.

“Rumaan, I know you’re disturbed… I can make you feel bette—”

“Get out of my room!” I yelled before she could finish, but she didn’t seem affected by my words.

“Why, Rumaan?” she asked, coming closer to me.

“Because I feel disgusted by your touch! Did you forget my wife’s words? Never come into my room at night. Now get the hell out of here!” I shouted.

“But she’s not here… and I don’t think she will come back,” she said, smirking. And I realized how happy she was.

It meant everything—every act of hers—was a lie. She didn’t want just my friendship. She never liked mine and Hana’s relationship. And that kiss! I was blind with anger, but she was in her senses. She could have pushed me away if she was truly my friend. But no, instead she kissed me.

I thought of Hana’s words echoing in my mind:

“Drag her out of my house… before she destroys our marriage…”

I was lost in my thoughts when I felt Ariba’s hand on my chest. I snapped toward her and saw her coming closer to my face.

“Stay away from me!” I screamed, pushing her hard. She stumbled but managed to keep her balance, looking at me in shock.

“Take another step toward me, and I will forget that you’re a girl and our guest,” I warned her, pointing my finger.

“And my wife isn’t in my house, but she is here.” I put my finger on my chest above my heart. “And she will always be here. I already hurt her too much… I never cheated on her after accepting our marriage and having her, but you proved me wrong,” I said, pain filling my chest as I remembered how Hana begged me to throw her out of our house, but I thought she was my friend and had a right over my wife.

“You cheated her, Rumaan… in fact, you cheated her right in front of her,” she said, smirking, making my chest tighten with pain.

“No! I didn’t cheat her… that was my anger. I just wanted to win that argument, but I lost everything!” I yelled through gritted teeth.

“And I will never cheat her. I’m only Hana’s, and I will always be hers, because I love her. I love her way too much to ever think about another girl. And I will love her always… no matter where she is, she will always be here,” I declared, pointing at my heart.

“Now get the hell out of my room before I drag you out of my house!” I glared at her, and thank God she finally turned to go.

“And listen—” I stopped her, and she turned back.

“After a few days, Nawaz bhai (elder brother) is leaving. You better go with him and never show me your face again. And stay away from me until then,” I warned, and she left my room, not before glaring at me.

I sighed and sat back on the bed, hiding my face.

“I’m sorry, Hanu… I really hurt you. I wish I could take it all back,” I muttered, lying down and closing my eyes. Tears escaped the corners of my eyes.

******

2 and a Half Months Later

It has been two and a half months since she left me. Since I lost my peace. Since I have been living in hell. Every passing second became unbearable without her. My life turned into hell. I lost my family. Riya aapi (elder sister) and her family went back to America—including Ariba. But I’m spending my days with the hope that I will make everything right.

Mama doesn’t talk to me much. She has distanced herself, only speaking when necessary. And Baba…

My eyes welled up thinking about Baba.

Baba stopped talking to me. He hasn’t uttered a word since that incident. And it hurts too much. I never wanted to hurt my family, but now they are all in pain because of me. Mama is also hurt, because Baba doesn’t really talk to her either. He was angry that Mama hid the truth from him about my birthday night. He said if he had known about it, then he would have done my and Hana’s ruksati (sending off to the groom’s house). And I would have never gotten the chance to hurt Hana. I wish that had happened.

I tried to talk to Baba. I tried to make him understand that Mama wasn’t at fault, but he shut both of us down. He became even more ill after that day. So Mama told me to join the office since he was not in the condition to take any responsibility. That’s how I started going to the office.

I kept myself busy with work, but my heart never stopped thinking about her. My heart ached for her. But I couldn’t do anything. I just wanted to give her some time and wait for the right moment to go in front of her. And I think it is time to confront her.

Munaf told me Hana started going to college two weeks ago. He asked Kulsum about her, and she told him. So I thought I would meet her after college, because in Marzi aapi’s house, I was sure no one would let me see my Hanu.

I checked the time and saw it was 1:30 p.m. That meant her classes would end at 2 p.m.

I got up from my seat and rushed out of my office, taking my car keys and mobile.

“Sir, are you going anywhere?” asked my PA and friend, Ali.

“Ali, I’m going to meet Hana,” I informed him, and he nodded. I had told him everything about my life. He really helped me adjust to this business world. He was a kind and good person. At first, when he saw me disturbed, he tried to talk to me. Many times I refused, but he made me feel that he was my friend and that I could share my problems with him.

He really helped me stay sane. He told me to give Hana some time and have faith in Allah. Otherwise, I would have barged into Marzi aapi’s house, picked up Hana in my arms, and taken her to our home. Ali was a happily married man and a proud father of a five-year-old son.

I sat in my car and drove to her college. After reaching, I stopped the car and got out. It was 1:50 p.m. It had taken twenty minutes to reach there from my office.

After ten minutes, I saw students coming out of the college. I grew impatient to see my Hanu. My heart was racing. I was going to see her after two and a half long months. Only I know how I spent those days without her.

After a few more minutes, I finally saw my Hanu. She was coming out of the college with Kulsum. Kulsum was talking dramatically, and Hana shook her head in reply with a small smile. She was covering herself with a shawl and looked even more beautiful. She looked stronger. I smiled seeing her like this.

My eyes welled up, seeing my Hana after two and a half long months—smiling. She looked different. She looked a little chubby! Oh… she’s pregnant! I mentally facepalmed and smiled, shaking my head. Yes, she looked chubby—but cute chubby. And I loved her even more.

As Mama said, Hana was four months pregnant now. Her once flat stomach had become slightly swollen, and seeing her like this made my heart beat faster. My baby, I thought, looking at her stomach. But then I remembered my own words, and my heart clenched. I closed my eyes for a second before reopening them.

She walked out and stood near the gate, maybe waiting for someone.

I walked toward her with my heart wildly beating and stood near her. Her back was facing me, so she couldn’t see me—but Kulsum did. Her eyes widened in surprise. Before Kulsum could say anything, I called my Hanu.

“Hanu…”

She turned and looked at me. Our eyes met, and I saw her stiffen at the sight of me.

**********